As a celebrant, I have the privilege of walking alongside families during some of the most challenging moments of their lives. Funerals are not just ceremonies to mark the end of a life—they are moments of meaning, of love, of remembrance. They help people begin to process their grief, and when done thoughtfully, they can be deeply healing.
It's an honour to help people create funerals that are unique and personal—ceremonies that truly capture the essence of their loved one. No two lives are the same, and no two funerals should be either.
But there’s another side to this work that I feel passionately about. And it’s something we don’t talk about nearly enough: planning your funeral while you're still alive.
So often, I hear people say, “I wish we’d talked about this before,” or, “I hope this is what they would have wanted.” The truth is, many of us avoid the conversation because we fear it will be upsetting, awkward, or somehow bring death closer. But talking about it doesn’t bring death any faster—it just brings clarity, comfort, and peace of mind.
I want to share something personal.
My mum was terminally ill, but I didn’t expect the end to come so quickly. Looking back, I think she knew. About 24 hours before she passed away, she turned to me and said, “You know how I want my funeral to be.”
I replied, “No, Mum, I don’t.”
She calmly and clearly told me her wishes—no fuss, no fear, just matter of fact. That conversation, brief as it was, became one of the greatest gifts she ever gave me. Knowing what she wanted allowed me to carry out her wishes with confidence. In the middle of heartbreak, that clarity brought me comfort. It felt like I was still caring for her, even after she’d gone.
Since then, I’ve had the privilege of working with people to plan their own funerals—even when they’re fit and healthy. These are brave, generous conversations. They’re not morbid—they’re full of love. And they can bring real relief to the people you’ll one day leave behind.
So I want to encourage you: talk about it.
Talk to your partner, your children, your parents, your friends. Talk about the music you love, the readings that move you, the kind of atmosphere you’d like. Talk about the stories that should be told, the people you want remembered, the moments you want marked.
And if it feels too hard to know where to start, I’m here. Whether you’re planning for someone else or thinking ahead for yourself, I’ll support you in creating something beautiful and true.
Because funerals aren’t about death—they’re about life. And yours deserves to be remembered in your own way